so many changes happening all at once. i dunno if this is normal or i'm just being paranoid. *sigh*

i used move fast. i'm such an impatient person that i tend to walk fast, talk fast, do things fast. i don't like wasting my time much. i used to work around the house too. not only do i cook ~ i clean, throw out the trash, wash clothes, sweep our 'mini yard', heck ~ i'm even the handyman at home!

now that i'm pregnant, i'm soooo paranoid of the things people tell me. kesyo, the 1st trimester is the most crucial part of being pregnant. i get soooo praning that i'm always in a state of worry. aaargh! it's driving me nuts!!!

then the doctor tells me i have subchorionic hemorrhage. i was so scared, i almost cried right in the doctor's office!

she advised rest for one week. after a week's rest, i went back to work. stress got the best of me. i can't help it! when you have demanding clients like my account has, you can't help but get pressured and stressed out. my work ends at 11am but i usually leave office at 1pm ~ which i know is not good for my baby. =(

had my check up again a week after a went back to work and the doctor tells me my hemorrhage got a little bigger. she advises me to get two more weeks of rest. haaaay. so here i am, at home in my parent's house, blogging.

don't get me wrong, i'm thrilled and elated that i'm pregnant.... but being pregnant is simply driving me insane! it's like i'm not me anymore!

so i'm going to list things that i'm not happy about, let it out of my system, and hopefully i wouldn't have to talk about it in the future:

• i can't move fast. i walk really slow (i hate it). i'm scared that if i do, it'll worsen the hemorrhage and/or disturb the baby.
• i can't do housework. i can't clean the apartment. i can't sweep our yard. i can't do the grocery. i can't carry heavy stuff.
• i'm always hungry (errrr... that's not new at all!). i'm always sleepy.
  
• i don't feel sexy at all. my cheeks are really puffy. i have doublechin.
  
• i have difficulty sleeping at night.
• and when i'm sleeping already, i'd feel the need to pee.
  
• and when i pee at night, i'd have a hard time going back to sleep!
• i wake up early ~ 5am. i'd feel bored and try to wake up ron (he doesn't) so i'd watch tv instead.
  
• back aches ~ 'nuff said.
  
• i can't bend too much. heck, i'm having difficulty cutting my toenails. (although this could be an advantage ~ i'd have an excuse for footspas).
  
• nothing fits! i have to get a whole new wardrobe!
• i have to eat fruits... and i'm not a fruity person!
• i cannot have too much sweets, junkfood, and sodas. damn it.
• i get too much emotional too fast.
  
• cravings ~ which usually fall under 2 categories: 1) all-time favorite food such as spaghetti, burittos, and pizza. 2) food i ate when i was little like bitcho bitcho from the palengke.
• i'm scared to cough and sneeze.
• i'm always in a state of worry and anxiousness.
  
• i'm alert for any aches and pain and even the smallest discomfort.
  
• i rant all the time, my husband probably wants to strangle me or smother me with a pillow while sleeping.
  
• i've got wide feet, i can't get those cutesy jelly shoes that would complete my preggy outfits. (ok, this is not connected with me being pregnant because i've always had wide feet. i just had to rant about it.)
• i'm always pissed at something or someone. i've always been this way but the intensity increased.
  
• i expect people to give me consideration because i'm pregnant.
• i have to take medicines. i never took vitamins before, now i have to remember to take meds after every meal.
• gastos ~ again, 'nuff said.
• people telling me to always think of happy thoughts, wear pastel-colored or cutesy dresses, listen to happy and inspiring music. i still listen to nu and the preggy clothes that i just brought are just brown and black, no other color.
• i hate not being able to wear jeans. i loooooove jeans.
• can't eat sushi and sashimi. no saisaki buffet for now. waaaaaaaah!!!
  
• feeling sick all the time. i don't have the morning sickness yet however i feel like throwing up once in a while.

there. i guess that's everything.

now, onto the happy thoughts.....